The right age of marriage is the age when two individuals are ready to make the commitment to unite as partners in a personal relationship that is recognized by an official institution per constitution or a religious congregation to share life together so that it lasts forever.
The primary purpose of marriage is for a committed companionship, to reproduce and to protect the interest of the partners and their offspring to create a stable society nurtured with respect, love, and trust. It is the beginning of the family meant for a lifelong commitment. Marriage is an arrangement to fulfill certain aspects of your life.
Irrespective of the purpose of the union, the most important thing in the marriage is the commitment in the partnership until death do them part. For this, every age is right for marriage when the individuals are committed though we do not recommend child marriages as the individual needs to understand what commitment means. One should not be forced into this kind of relationship for other gains.
The commitment is for caring, sharing, becoming responsible to face the challenges in life to the best of your abilities, adjusting, enabling each other to achieve their goals and to become better people.
Some also believe that the right age for marriage is when you can independently survive and are able to fulfill at least the basic needs of life, like food and shelter.
One needs the courage to make commitments. This is not like buying a product from a shop which has a return policy. Understanding the other person sometimes takes a lifetime and therefore frequently marriages arranged by the elders in the family have a higher chance of lasting because then the couple falls in love with an understanding of how not to fall in life and commitment. It is more thought through especially by the wise and experienced in the family. People do a lot more homework before they bet on a horse even in the racing. This is about the rest of your life. A lot of homework needs to be done before commitment.
The process of selection also helps decide the right age. When you truly know more about your own self, and your personality, think of the right partner for that person (you) without a bias as if you are the third party and ask yourself if you will be able to adjust to that person and commit for a lifetime. You may get the Best but if you are not the Best, things may not work out. If you can adjust to the obvious weaknesses of the other person, the good qualities will be like bonuses. Even after a thorough research, there will be many surprises and therefore the age when you have the desire to commit and adjust is the right age for you for marriage.
In addition to having a committed partner, if the goal is also to procreate and have children then one should take into consideration the normal human physiology. Raging hormones is not the only reason to marry but it does stimulate to commit.
I would like you to understand the following statistics to decide on the age you want to become a parent.
Under the age of 18, we do not recommend a woman to get pregnant as it is like a child delivering a child who has not had a chance to become an adult yet. She does not deserve so much responsibility at that tender age.
Having a child at age 18-24, reduces the risk for birth defects, chromosomal problems, and fertility issues but are the parents committed? Especially, will the father take the responsibilities of the child? Girls are more likely to play the role of a parent than their counterparts.
At age 18, even though she is considered an adult, it may not be the right age for marriage. The divorce rate is very high in the teens. About 2 in 5 marriages end up in divorces in the first five years of their marriage.
Age 25-30 is the desired age for marriage per studies as the young individual has had a chance to have their own identity, has had some exposure in choosing the right partner and keeping the commitment. It is easier to conceive under the age of 30 who are otherwise healthy. They are able to conceive in their first three months of trying 40 to 60 percent of the time.
By age 24-28, it is easier to find a stable partner.Ā The longer you wait, the less viable partners you can choose from, especially in heterosexual relationships, as there are more women than men.
After age 30, the chances of getting pregnant begin to decrease every year. Also risks of pregnancy increase for both mother and baby after age 35. The incidence of infertility, miscarriages, stillbirths, chromosomal defect including Downās syndrome goes up. The risk of having a child with Down syndrome per studies is around 1 in 1,480 for women at age 20. At age 40, this risk increases to 1 in 85.
If a woman waits until age 30 to get married, there is a one in two chance that she will never marry. At the same time, marriages after the age of 28 to 30 are least likely to end up in divorces. So, try finding the partner seriously before the age of 28 and take time to do test your compatibility but not that long that marriage does not happen in time.
In the late 30s and early 40s, the chances of a female conceiving spontaneously is about half that of a female in their early 20s.
One should also look at the trend in the family history about pregnancy and chances of pregnancy-related complications.
Also, think of your age when the child turns to be a teenager.Ā As you get older, your physical capacity will not remain the same.Ā Giving importance to career is necessary but remember, physiology does not wait for you.Ā The longer you wait, the chances of physiology giving rise to pathology go up.
All these points should be thought through. You only have right to your actions which will help you make your destiny as desired.
Gestational diabetes is more common in older mothers and may make a baby grow large while still inside the womb. When a baby is too large, mother as well the baby, are at high risk of trauma, can cause high blood pressure (for mom) and premature birth or other complications (for baby).
High blood pressure or preeclampsia during pregnancy is also more likely over age 40 and is a maternal mortality risk factor.
Caesarean delivery rates increase with higher age by about 1.5 to 2 times more with increasing age.
IVF with donor eggs, Surrogacy, Egg freezing, adoption increase with age.
Understand the importance of spending life with a single partner, having the same parents for all their children to increase the likelihood of happiness for parents and children besides having many other benefits and lowering the risk of sexually transmitted diseases when committed. Children develop more self-confidence in a stable family.
Do not fall in love (infatuation) blindly that you can never rise in life. More thinking before commitment will help you stay committed. Once committed, remind yourself – āI will like my spouseā, āI will adjust to my spouseā and āI will love my spouseā should be the goal. Happiness is having and enjoying what you already have.Ā Things will change for better or for worse so also check the family traits before commitment.
Sanjivani Health Center wishes the best to all the unmarried adults to find the right partner at the right age so that they can have a family at the right time!
Dr. Darshana Kadakia
May 29, 2021
Dr Darshana Kadakia is wonderful and anyone seeing her is lucky to have her as their doctor!ā